Aaaand after alllll, you’re my wooonder wooooorm.
Wes Metcalfe was very disappointed to find a worm on a cucumber he’d bought at Tesco. Mostly because it was dead.
According to a message he left on Tesco's Facebook page, the South Yorkshire man was trying to make his favourite sandwich — cucumber, naturally — when the worm was discovered.
“I excitedly shouted the kids downstairs to come and meet our new pet. We decided to name him William,” wrote Metcalfe.
“Our new pet appeared to be very unresponsive, we just put it down to him being sleepy and decided to give him sometime to come round.”
Sadly, William was very much deceased.
“I now have three very upset children, a worm funeral to plan and to top it all off I've totally lost my taste for cucumber sandwiches which as everyone knows are a favourite at any wake,” wrote Metcalfe.
“So come on Tesco wiggle your way out of this one!?!?”
But it got better. Because then Tesco responded. With a poem.
An ode to William
Although life takes funny old turns, we can all learn from William the Worm.
Let us gather, light a candle to burn, and celebrate the life of William the Worm.
Lights shine bright; let’s eat sponge cake through the night! Because there’s many a lesson to learn.
He wriggled many miles; he gave us many smiles, so we stand today confident and firm…
William will be back, very much like Arnie, though now we will all check, before we make a sarnie!
It was signed “Rob – Customer Care.”
But it didn’t stop there. Poor William needed a proper burial and Metcalfe prepared a serene final resting place for the departed.
It included a framed picture of William and a tiny Tesco condolence card because Metcalfe is admirably committed to the bit.