For Everyone Who’s Still Fucked Up Over That Story About The Girl With The Ribbon Around Her Neck

I am not over “The Green Ribbon.”

Hello, my friends. I am here to ruin your day by reminding you of that iconic spooky story about the girl with the ribbon around her neck, from this classic book:

Hello, my friends. I am here to ruin your day by reminding you of that iconic spooky story about the girl with the ribbon around her neck, from this classic book:

Harper Collins / Via amazon.com

Remember? It’s a wonderful story that also scarred me for life. It was called “The Green Ribbon” and this is literally the story. It’s about a girl named Jenny who wears a green ribbon around her neck.

Remember? It's a wonderful story that also scarred me for life. It was called "The Green Ribbon" and this is literally the story. It's about a girl named Jenny who wears a green ribbon around her neck.

Art © 1984 by Dirk Zimmer.

Basically the girl met some dude named Alfred, and Alfred was always like, “Jenny, what’s up with the green ribbon around your neck??”

Basically the girl met some dude named Alfred, and Alfred was always like, "Jenny, what's up with the green ribbon around your neck??"

Art © 1984 by Dirk Zimmer.

But Jenny never told Alfred; she was like, “You’ve gotta wait to find out!” But Alfred kept asking and asking. She even wore the green ribbon around her neck when they got MARRIED, and still didn’t tell him why!

But Jenny never told Alfred; she was like, "You've gotta wait to find out!" But Alfred kept asking and asking. She even wore the green ribbon around her neck when they got MARRIED, and still didn't tell him why!

Art © 1984 by Dirk Zimmer.


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